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Having a loving and supportive partner – someone to share
our hopes and dreams with, as well as someone to be there to shoulder
life's adversities, is one of life’s greatest blessings. Relationships
can also be perplexing when we do not feel understood, heard or
seen.
Please feel free to ask questions. I will be happy to answer them
and post the answers so that all can learn from your experiences.
Your name will not be posted and your confidentiality will be respected.
In love and light,
Jenica
YOU ASKED:
How have things changed in relationships?
Relationships, like everything
else--change. As human beings we have evolved. What we want and
need in our relationships have changed too. Although our parents
values remain close to our hearts, we no longer need a partner for
the same reasons our parents and grandparents did. For many of the
generations that have come before us, survival was a big concern.
The man was out working, making a living to support his family while
his wife stayed at home and looked after everything and everyone
else.
People today, want a much deeper
connection and reason for being with a partner. In most cases we
can take care of ourselves so we don’t need a partner for
that reason alone. Most people feel quite dissatisfied in their
relationship if that is all that is going on.
How can I get a partner?
If you are looking to “get”
a partner you are looking to hook someone into your life. Do you
see a picture of a hook? Even if you were able to hook someone into
your life, the person that was caught will resent it in time. Attracting
the right person is a much more powerful way to go as opposed to
going out and “getting a partner.”
How can I attract a person that will be
good for me?
We all have lists of things that
we would want in a potential mate. You know the list—attractive,
patient, kind, humorous, generous, sincere, successful, etc. We’ve
all made those lists at one time or another whether we’ve
actually put pencil to paper.
The important thing to look at
is not what qualities the perfect mate will have for you, but whether
you have the qualities that that kind of person would want in a
partner. The man or woman that you’ve described—Why
would they want to date you?
I used to work as a matchmaker
and I would constantly be told all the things that people wanted
in a potential mate, and I would ask them “What is it that
you bring to the table? Why would someone want to be in relationship
with you?"
You will attract your mirror image.
If you want a kind and sincere person, don’t expect that person
to show up in your life if you are mean-spirited.
What should I do if I want to meet
someone special?
Here is where many people get confused.
So many people put emphasis on what they should do, or what they
need to have in order to attract the right mate. What will make
a more meaningful relationship is to focus on who you are “being.”
The results will be much different than if you focus on what you
must “do” or what you must “have.” The most
important thing to focus on rather than what you are doing or have,
is who you are “being.” You must know who you are, to
attract the right person.
What is happening if I am always
attracting the wrong person?
If you see patterns in your relationships
take a closer look. If you notice that you are playing the same
movie over and over again and just changing the actors, take the
time to step back and take a closer at what it is that you are up
to in your life.
Ask yourself some questions like
“What do I really want in life? What’s really important
to me?" Narrow it down and be specific. We must be true to
ourselves so that we are sending out true and clear pictures of
who we are. If you are sending out messages and signals-- that are
not consistent with whom you really are, you will be disappointed
with that relationship in the long run.
Remember, that you will always
attract people consistent with who you are being.
If you don’t like whom you
are attracting it is perhaps a good time to focus on your relationship
with yourself. Cultivate the qualities in yourself that you would
admire and respect in a partner—and then you can be sure that
you will attract a partner that is attracted to you for all the
right reasons.
Where can I go to meet people?
Look at what drives the masculine.
Men love to live on the edge, to be able to take action through
to the release of completion. Check out places where there is action,
or events leading to winning or completion—anything to do
with living on the edge, making things happen.
To meet men it is easiest to meet
them at places where people are doing things, activities where there
is a completion or a challenge to be overcome---sporting events,
mountains to be conquered or cars to be raced. You might want to
attend political events, business events, or anywhere there is movement.
Usually these places are filled with many more men than women.
The feminine desire is driven by
relationship and the experience of giving and receiving love. The
feminine wants to feel connected with others.
To meet women go to anything
where there is intellectual stimulation, learning or opening of
the mind. I attend a lot of lectures, personal growth seminars and
places where there is new thought. These places are a haven for
men because they are filled with women---interesting, smart and
open-minded women looking to connect with others.
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